Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
