Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
