She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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