Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize