Sry I called you an 8
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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