so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I understand Curling. That high.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
