woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
