Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
