69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
