Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
