i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
