If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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