Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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