Say something about gay babies.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
