I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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