May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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