now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
