I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
