don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
