No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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