After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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