before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize