We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Found the puke drawer
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
