My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
