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I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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