I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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