a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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