I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
