i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
