While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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