If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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