Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
