no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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