I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
