Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize