CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
