So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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