So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
