glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
