I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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