16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
