he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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