I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
