we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
