Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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