who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
