I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
