I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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