I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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