i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize