is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize