.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Pants are for mortals
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
