sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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