Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
