Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
