Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Randomize
