there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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