I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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