Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
