My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
